Tomorrow I’m getting married. And, like a typical dude, I’ve got something on my mind: SEX. I’m not denying it. But perhaps, atypically, I am not as wrapped up into thoughts of having sex so much as I am completely bewildered with thoughts of why, as American Christians, we are so obsessed with sex, and why we are steeping teenagers in a sex-Gospel like ticking sex-time-bombs.
Maybe you and I heard the same sex-gospel growing up: “SEX IS AWESOME, FANTASTIC, MIND-BLOWING, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… BUT you can’t have it till you’re married...” Somewhere between the over-glorification of sex and the under-glorification of Christ we walked away thinking that married sex was better than knowing Jesus. And more than once I've whimpered to Him, Jesus, just don’t come back before I get to have sex, pretty please. The Sex-Gospel was the "good news" of guilt-free sex. And, comparatively, that's really just OKAY news...
But the message I never heard was that knowing Jesus today is better than having sex. It’s better than sex with your girlfriend. It’s better than sex with a stranger. It’s even better than hot, steamy, monogamous sex with your spouse - And you don’t need to wait until you’re married to experience the deepest satisfaction that life can afford because you can experience the ocean of satisfaction that is closeness with Christ right-flipping-now!
Not to degrade the fact that it is a life-long struggle to exclusively enthrone Christ at the center of our hearts, because it absolutely is; but the truth is that you and I can experience the most ravishing and uncompromising dimensions of “satisfaction” without ever having sex. Jesus said the way was narrow, not impossible. He promised "find" if we resolve to "seek." Our souls were not made for sex and sex alone they were made to find and experience closeness with God the Father. The sex-side-dish is a measly morsel compared to our main course in Christ.
But if Jesus is not all satisfying then God forbid you ever live in anything smaller than a mansion. God forbid you ever experience hunger. God forbid you drive a beater. And God forbid you remain single for another minute. If Christ is not all satisfying then by all means, have lots of sex and have it now!
To say to a teenager that "sex in a monogamous marriage is the best thing ever" is to tie a proverbial carrot-on-a-stick to his back and have him run around, maddening himself with the lust that comes from staring at it. Until one day, when the carrot has become an idol, he rips off the stick and devours it. And that’s all. The carrot is not savored nor is he thankful for it, and instead he begins an often-vain search for something better than the carrot.
Neither has threatening people with AIDS or herpes resulting from loose orgies stopped anyone from having pre-marital sex; it will simply make them wear a condom. I’ve never met a virgin who on their wedding day said, “I only made it here because STDs scared me.” But give them something truly satisfying... give them Jesus... and the search for satisfaction rolls over and dies.
To give this generation the gift of closeness with Christ is to give them a satisfaction that will never fail them, a satisfaction that lasts longer than a night of fooling around, a satisfaction that cries out to the deep of their heart and delights the senses of their soul with whispers of the Most High.
So I’m a virgin. And I haven’t missed out on anything. Because somewhere in the last twenty-four years my soul began relishing itself deeply in the deep of God’s heart. Tasting and seeing that He is good. And while it threatens and beats it’s chest, neither sex inside or outside of marriage can compete with the satisfaction I have found in Christ.
From the guy whose successor experienced every fleeting pleasure end-to-end and came back empty :