He drives to work like he’s driving to prison.
What a dreadful inconvenience… working for money.
Even worse… working with people.
He’s an entitled yuppy.
He hates his job but it’s all he cares about.
His kids don’t call anymore.
He pulls into his reserved spot and turns off “The Money Guy Show.”
He’s 12 minutes late.
He doesn’t hurry.
They can wait.
“Good morning, doctor,” one of his nurses says, cheerfully.
“Okay,” he sighs. “What’s first?”
His tone sucked all the wind from the nurse’s sails.
“Janet Klepper is ready for you in the exam room,” the nurse says with an unsure, upward inflection, dreading his reaction.
His head drops when he hears that name - chin to chest.
He drags his fingers down the side of his face, like he’s losing his grip on the edge of a cliff.
The doctor was generally happy to see a patient… one time.
But never more than once.
He had a mild intolerance for returners.
Complete disgust for regulars.
And Janet Klepper was… a regular.
Even that word threatened his gag reflex.
His eye-roll reflex.
His Oh-God-get-me-out-of-here reflex.
Her mere existence taxed him. Regularly.
It was ironic - how Janet’s countenance also dropped when the doctor entered the room.
…They were a toxic couple.
Each made the other queasy.
She felt guilty being sick again.
No. More than guilty… ashamed.
She’d been sickly since childhood.
Sometimes better. Sometimes worse.
Recently worse.
Throughout her long life she’d suffered greatly under several physicians.
Spending untold amounts of money only to get worse.
And now this doctor, without ever speaking, confirmed her lifelong suspicion: her sickness made her a burden.
Somewhere, at the most fundamental, basic, human level… she was a burden.
She. Herself. Her very being. A burden.
The doctor knew it.
She knew it.
Everyone probably knew it.
But she needed the doctor…
She needed him like a bent nail needs a blow from a hammer.
Only he had the tools to straighten her out.
And if he couldn’t straighten her out for good, then at least he could smash her health into a type of sideways submission for a few days.
He quietly entered, and the room grew more silent with each step.
He was late, but his demeanor said his patience for Janet had run out long ago.
From door to computer chair.
No eye contact.
No conversation.
No compassion.
He just stared lifelessly into the screen.
“Name and date of birth,” he asked… or stated, rather.
“He doesn’t know my name?” she thought.
He knew her name.
But he hated admitting it.
He thought saying her name would be like putting out food for a stray.
Janet “The Burden” Klepper.
Janet “The Stray” Klepper.
Janet Klepper… The Leper.
If you didn’t answer quickly enough, he’d twitch his head just slightly in your direction, like he wondered if you might perhaps be deaf... or stupid.
Every word that left his mouth seemed to cost him something.
Like Janet’s presence was sapping the marrow from his soul.
“Am I breathing too loudly?” thought Janet, hoping not to offend him.
“Uh, it’s Janet Klepper... and July tenth, nineteen fifty-three,” she said timidly.
He didn’t confirm whether he heard her.
“Okay Mrs. Klepper… what can I do for you today?”
He swung the chair around in her direction.
She could tell he’d already decided she was just too dumb to realize she needed more water and sleep.
… I bet you can imagine the rest of the appointment.
Eventually, Janet got what she thought she needed, and her symptoms abated for a time…
But she’d need to come back for more help.
The more help she sought, the more shame she felt.
The more shame she felt, the more help she needed.
But Janet never received what she longed for most…
What she needed most.
Compassion. Care. Love.
Someone so acquainted with her ailments that they could offer a real, lasting cure.
A physician who would welcome her as often as she needed.
A healer who would be happy to treat her, because helping sick people is what gets him out of bed in the morning.
Someone who could dare to believe that she was not a burden… and could dare her to believe it too.
—
Friend… if you’re anything like me, then you’re Janet Klepper and the doctor is the Jesus you believe in.
But he’s not the Real Jesus.
We made him up.
He’s the doctor in your head.
Imaginary, nightmare Jesus.
The Jesus in your head is tired of your regular visits.
He’s exhausted by your ailments.
You’ll get very little comfort or compassion from Him.
He’ll wear you down with guilt and shame.
He’ll convince you, without even speaking, that your identity and worth are bound up in your failures and weaknesses.
Eventually, you’ll need help because your “helper” is actually your accuser.
…But the Jesus of the Bible welcomes you. Again and again and again. He welcomes crushed and burdened people to offload their heaviness on Him (Matthew 11:28-30).
He is mighty fond of strays… and strays tend to be mighty fond of Him too (Matthew 9:10-11).
Advocating for you is how He prefers to spend His time in heaven. Helping you is what brings Him the most joy (Hebrews 7:25, 12:2).
He’ll never grow tired of your repeated cries for help. He understands that it’s hard being human (1 Peter 5:7; Hebrews 4:15).
Remember also, before you could seek His help, He sought to help you. Jesus the Physician came to you, dear one (Romans 3:11, 5:8; Mark 2:17).
Try to imagine how much love and compassion He has for you if He left heaven, took on human flesh, lived in the dirt and died on a cross in order to make you His patient.
…You can’t. You can’t even imagine! (Ephesians 3:19).
And now that you’re His patient, you can’t exhaust Him by being a regular. He’s inexhaustible. In fact, He is endeared to you especially because you are a regular. He’s well acquainted with your ailments, and knows the cure for each one (2 Timothy 2:13).
He has moved in to you - taken up residency inside you. His Spirit is no mere neighbor. He indwells you. He’s the regular! And He invites you to be a regular too (Galatians 4:6).
He’s a friend of sinners!
Blessed me!
Blessed you!
(Matthew 11:19).
Make His heart glad by being a regular.
You’ll find a Friend.
An Advocate.
A Physician.
You’ll find rest for your soul.
”Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” - Matthew 11:28-29