We've Got the (Table) Flipping Story Wrong.

It’s a visceral story with a visceral point.
… And remind me, what is the point, exactly?

—
… “Jesus flipped tables and so should we” ???

… “Jesus got angry, and sometimes we should get angry too” ???

… ”It’s okay to react in anger when people are sinning” ???

… “Never go to a church where they’re selling stuff in the lobby” ???
—

Those are just a few interpretations I’ve heard of the classic Bible Story of Jesus flipping tables…

Also, fun fact: it’s one of the very few stories from Jesus’ ministry retold in ALL four Gospels.
• Matthew 21:12-16
• Mark 11:15-19
• Luke 19:45-48
• John 2:15-22

So apparently it was pretty memorable for the people who saw it.
I mean… I think we can all agree that if we’d been there it’d be seared into our minds too.
Core memory unlocked.

You know what I think about this passage?

…I think few Bible stories have been so misused in order to justify anger OUTBURSTS like this Bible story. 

Confession: Anger is a part of my story. 
Also, great therapy is a part of my story.
Also, by God’s sheer grace, the Gospel is a part of my story.

And Let me tell you an angry-person secret:
Angry people LOVE this passage.

Because as long as I think that what you’re doing is ungodly, then I can storm into your life, your home, your bedroom, or your social media feed and do some guilt-free, Bible-justified old-school table flipping.
… And then walk away with a sense of self-superiority - leaving you to sit in the wreckage and think about what you did. 

And golly it feels good…

The righteous anger coursing through my veins as I pound my fingers into the keyboard.
Every key I smash is another one of your teeth. *BAM*
Every poke to the keypad is another poke to your eyeball. *POP*
Every point I make, landing square on your chin, cheek, and nose.

**POW, BOOM, WHAMMO!**

As long as you are “wrong,” then my angry reaction is “righteous.”

It’s the angry Christian’s loophole.
Jesus said, “anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment” (Mt. 5:22).
And Jesus’ brother said “be slow to anger” (James 1:19-20).
But then… all bets are off because Jesus flipped tables… so now I can too…
As long as you’re wrong. 
And surprise… You’re always wrong.

I used to believe that.
I used to believe social media tirades were justified as long as the other person was wrong.
I’d hit “send” because I believed my verbal blows were somehow Christlike…

I literally believed I was doing Christ’s work by rushing into your feed, screaming a sermon, and whipping you with my words.
I mean, Jesus flipped tables after all!

I’m a man in recovery from the bitter poison of human anger and saved by divine grace. 

But since the great fire-sale of 2020 I’ve seen this story pointed to over and over as if it were an iron-clad defense for emotionally erupting on sinners.

And here’s what I know now: When church people see this story as justification for reacting in anger then we’ve utterly misread, misinterpreted, and misunderstood this story. 

Like… we’ve missed the text and context - the whole bible-study-kit-and-caboodle - by a mile.

… Here’s the story as it was relayed to me as a child:

Jesus arrived at the Temple court during some Jewish holiday and was stunned to see animals being sold. When He saw this, He was electrified with jealous anger! How dare they sell things in God’s house! Jesus quickly grabbed a whip and began swinging it like a wild man at the money-changers, driving them all out of the Temple while throwing their tables over and screaming, “this is my Father’s house and you’ve made it into a den of thieves!” 

It’s got some key things right… and some very key things wrong.
Ultimately, it’s an egregiously inaccurate alteration of the story’s key details. 
And Satan loves it. 

Satan loves it because he uses it to convince you that the application for this passage is: “Go flip your ungodly neighbors’ tables…” 

But the real application is more along the lines of getting you asking the question, “If Jesus walked into the courtyard of my heart, would He find any tables that need flipping?” 

…And perhaps a deeper question this passage is trying to get us asking may be: “Is the way I conduct my spiritual life keeping outsiders from getting closer to God?”

** Just pause for a second… I mean, if you literally think this passage teaches that you should flip ungodly people’s tables in ‘righteous’ anger, then there’s a big part of me that just wants to say, “I dare you.” Please. Go for it. No church (no matter how much you think they’ll support you) will actually support you once you end up on YouTube after an angry table-flipping spree at the local farmers market all because you saw Brenda selling taro cards and dream crystals. Really, if you’d actually just do what you think this passage is teaching, then you’d prove my point far quicker than this stupidly-long blogpost.**

Okay, let me give you a few reasons why I’m CONVINCED we’re missing the point of this passage… 

1. No version of this story says Jesus WAS “angry.” 

…Yikes. I know, you don’t believe it. But re-read all four gospel accounts for yourself. 

In NO version of this story, in ZERO of the 4 gospels, does it say that Jesus got “angry.” Was He? Maybe… I don’t know… and neither do you. 

Apparently, to the witnesses who later recorded the event, anger wasn’t the most prominent emotion they thought Jesus was exuding. It’s not like they didn’t have plenty of words for “anger” in Greek - and I think they’d have used one of them if “anger” was what they felt defined this moment.

But all the disciples were aware that Jesus was experiencing one prominent emotion: Zeal.

John’s version says, “His disciples remembered that it was written, ‘Zeal for your house will consume me’ (Jn. 2:17). 

Zeal, yes. “Consuming” zeal, in fact.
Jesus felt an undeniable conviction to correct what was wrong in the temple.
A drive to get it done. 

But anger? I mean, maybe… but the text doesn’t say…
And we know that God doesn’t get angry quick.
In fact, it’s one of God’s core attributes - He is “slow to anger” (אָרֵךְ אַף) - Ex. 34:6.

This is why James told believers later on to “be quick to listen and slow to anger.”
To be slow to anger is to be like Christ. 

And Jesus certainly wasn’t “surprised” either…
This wasn’t ‘The First Annual Den of Robbers Market’ being held in the temple court.
This wasn’t His first Passover Rodeo.

Jesus didn’t suddenly grow a conscience and realize all in a moment how blisteringly jacked up things were.

No, He was used to this.
He’d seen this happening at Passover year after year after year since childhood… 

So, I think chances are good that Jesus didn’t experience some sudden spike of fury or explode with unexpected rage. 
Jesus had carefully planned this moment… 
Maybe for years. 

He was simply “zealous.”
He’d always been zealous for His Father’s house. 
Even since childhood (Lk. 2:48-49).

Jesus is zealous… and we should be too.
Jesus is slow to anger… and we should be too.

Losing yourself in anger is unspeakably easy.
To lash out requires no effort at all.
Trust me on this.

And yet, there are a lot of church folks who think their righteously angry outbursts are noble and Christlike. I think that’s often just an excuse for lacking maturity. Moreover, I think it’s a cover for lacking the Spirit’s fruit of “self control” (Gal. 5:22-23).

But to feel someone else’s spit dribble down your face,
Their punches break your jaw,
Their whip tear into your back…
And to still say, “Father, forgive them…”

…ooof, THAT’S hard.
Those are some toned muscles of self-control.
That’s a person who’s looking a lot like Jesus.
Bearing the Spirit’s fruit. 

And I think that might be the miracle and a main facet of this story:
That under circumstances that might make anyone else seethe with anger,
Perhaps Christ isn’t quite as angry as we would be.
Perhaps He’s slower to anger than your average-Joe-Christian.

No person is slower to anger than Christ.

…Perhaps… He was perfectly calm.
Wouldn’t that be a surprise?
Wouldn’t that upend your expectations?
Wouldn’t that be so like Christ?

And it’s Christ we follow.

-

2. Jesus DIDN’T WHIP people.

Okay, so the story doesn’t say Jesus was “angry.”
Another thing it doesn’t say (though I heard this growing up) is that Jesus started whipping people. 
Time to set it straight: the story doesn’t say Jesus whipped anyone. 

Jesus wasn’t assaulting people.

The most detailed version of the story says “And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables.” (Jn. 2:15). 

Jesus made a scene, scared the animals, and turned over some tables and coin jars in order to get people to go somewhere else. And they did. And after they left, the blind and lame started coming to Him for healing (Mt. 21:14)…

Remember, Jesus is slow to anger…
And speaking of “slow to anger,”
It took time for Jesus to make that whip.

It didn’t appear out of thin air…
Jesus didn’t just carry a whip on His belt like Indiana Jones…

John 2:15 says Jesus made the whip right there, on location.

I don’t know how long it takes to make a whip… but I’m guessing it took long enough for Jesus to think pretty hard about what He was about to do. 

When he started cracking the whip He was calculated, not frantic.
Intentional, not unrestrained.
Collected, not chaotic.

And after He’d cleared out the riffraff from the courtyard, Jesus was calm enough to immediately start ministering to the sick and teaching the crowds (Mt. 21:14, Mk. 5:17, Lk. 19:47).

I’m not calm enough to preach after running 100 yards, let alone preach and heal people after getting in a whip-fight with a few dozen people and an untold number of animals.  

But Jesus doesn’t appear to be out of breath or frazzled from an adrenaline rush.
I think this is yet more evidence that Jesus probably wasn’t quite as angry as our modern retellings have led us to believe. 

I don’t know about you, but I can’t see myself wanting to be seen by a doctor who just spent the last 10 minutes assaulting his staff. But Jesus was so approachable in the moments immediately after this event that the sick and lame felt safe coming to Him for a healing touch.

But you know who was mad?
The Temple staff.

Matthew says they were “indignant.” (Mt. 21:15)

Not because He’d made a mess… but because He healed people.
Not because He’d flipped tables… but because He taught people.
Not because He’d called merchants ‘robbers’… but because the masses called Him ‘Son of David.’

Matthew’s version doesn’t call Jesus’ actions “angry” or “violent” … Matthew calls His actions “wonderful” (again, see Mt. 21:15).

Yet ANOTHER reason to think that perhaps Jesus wasn’t as angry as we’ve imagined.

Think about it… take everything you know about Jesus’ earthly ministry and seriously ask yourself: “can I really imagine Jesus whipping people? Physically threatening people? Physically hurting people?”

It wasn’t Jesus’ anger towards sinners that upset religious folks… 
It was His friendliness towards sinners that got their robes in a twist. 

“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’” - Matthew 11:19

Of course, Jesus IS coming back as the Great Judge (cr. Ps. 2; Dan. 7; Rev. 19, etc.)…
And when He does, He’ll judge unbelievers and He’ll dish out perfect justice. 

That Day will be scary.
…Jesus will be scary.

But He intends for us to base our behavior on His earthly ministry and commandments, not His future judgement (cr. Matt. 16:24, 28:20; Rom. 12:17-19; 1 Cor. 11:1; Phil. 2:5-8; 1 Pet. 2:21).

The Old Covenant allowed for ‘eye-for-an-eye’ justice (Ex. 21:23-25).
But Christ followers are under a New Covenant (Lk 22:20).
In the New Covenant, Jesus says:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” - Matthew 5:38-39

Tall order, Jesus!

Jesus whipping people (or even threatening people with a whip) just doesn’t square with His own teaching. It runs against an absolute flood of other passages outlining Christian conduct about confronting conflict and sin. (cr. Matt. 18:15-20; Luke 4:22; Rom. 12:17-18, 13:13; Gal. 5:22-23, 6:1; Eph. 4:15, 29; Col. 4:6; 1 Tim. 2:8; 2 Tim. 2:14, 23-24; Titus 3:1-2 and MANY others).

Again, I often find that this story - the story of Jesus flipping tables - is the SINGULAR passage that angry Christians point to in order to justify their righteous fits of anger…

But if your interpretation of a passage runs counter to the rest of scripture’s teaching on a given matter, it’s more likely that your interpretation is off and less likely that the passage is condoning an exception to the rule.

-

3. The money-changers were ‘church people,’ not outsiders.

Now I want to make an even stronger contextual point: the animal-sellers and money-changers WERE NOT covenant-outsiders.

There isn’t even a slight chance that Gentiles would have been allowed to sell sacrifice-animals to Jews in the Temple during the Passover feast… much less that a Jew would’ve been allowed to buy a sacrificial animal from a Gentile. 

For a Jew to buy a sacrificial animal from a Gentile would’ve meant risking that the animal wasn’t truly unblemished or had potentially been exposed to idolatrous practices.

Sanhedrin 104a (in the Talmud) says, “any Jew eating with a gentile would bring exile upon his children.” So, if a Jew was forbidden from sharing dinner with gentiles on a plain old weekday, then it’s unthinkable that a Jew could buy a sacrificial animal from a Gentile during one of the holiest national holidays.

Why is this relevant? Because angry Christians use the table-flipping-story to justify angry behavior not only towards believers, but towards unbelievers as well.

Here’s a really important Bible-theme for Christians to understand… and honestly, this fact could change everything for you: JESUS NEVER GOT MAD AT UNBELIEVERS during His earthly life. 

But here’s a list of the types of people Jesus DID get angry or frustrated at during His exemplary life on earth:

• Church leaders who think they’re better than non-church-people (Mt. 9:10-13).

• Church leaders who think they’re better than other church people (Mt. 23:29-36).

• Church leaders that get offended when Jesus doesn’t play by their made-up rules (Mk. 3:1-6).

• Church people who marginalize non-church-people in order to make a quick buck (Mt. 21:12-13).

• Church people who marginalize children because they think Jesus is only for grown-ups (Mk. 10:13-16).

• Church people who don’t trust Him (Mt. 13:53-58).

• Church people who reject the cross (Mt. 16:21-23).

• Church people who lose their faith because of difficult circumstances (Mt. 8:23-27).

• Church people who reject the resurrection (Mk. 16:14).

• Church people who call down hellfire on unbelievers (Lk. 9:51-56).

• Demons (Mt. 17:18; Mk. 1:25, 9:25; Lk. 4:35, 4:41, 9:42).

…Notice any themes? 

And even IF Jesus was angry during the table-flipping episode, it wouldn’t be out-of-character for Him… Because He did react in anger and frustration towards church people and church leaders pretty often.

But in every recorded interaction between Jesus and non-Jews, Jesus never got angry at unbelievers.

Not the Roman Centurion (Lk. 7:1-10), Syrophoenician woman (Mt. 15:21-28), Samaritan woman (Jn. 4), Gerasene demoniac (Mk. 5:1-20), the Greeks at Passover (Jn. 12:20-22), and not even Pilate or Herod or the Roman soldiers who crucified Him… (Mt. 27; Lk. 23:6-12)

And when a Samaritan village rejected Jesus, James and John wanted to call down hellfire; but instead of meeting them on their emotional level, Jesus rebuked the two brothers for their trigger-happy attitude. (Lk. 9:51-56).

It doesn’t matter how ungodly an outsider is. 
It doesn’t matter how mean, wrong, sinful, or smelly they are… 
Jesus never got angry with unbelievers. 

The sins that got Jesus to react in anger were the sins of His people.

Again, what I’m NOT saying is that Jesus won’t return to judge unbelievers one day. He will without any doubt.

But I think something we don’t expect is that He’ll judge religious insiders BEFORE He judges religious outsiders (clearly described in Malachi 3:1-4). 

Again, the sins Jesus reacts most fiercely to are the sins of people who call themselves “His” people.

Chances are high that Jesus would “flip the tables” in your church and in your heart before flipping tables at the local strip club.

And if that offends you, well… welcome to following Jesus.

-

4. Jesus MADE A SCENE because the CHURCH-PEOPLE WERE keeping non-church-people out.  

God wants non-covenant-people to draw near to Him…
…to pray to Him.
…to find Him. 
…to become covenant-people. 

In Isaiah 56:7, God exclaims, “…my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations!”

The Temple in Jesus’ day was constructed with this incredible idea in mind: a place for people of all nationalities to pray. Not just ethnic or religious insiders.

And so the the Temple included an outer court for Non-Jews aptly called “The Court of the Gentiles” – A place for them to come near to God’s presence, Worship, and Pray.

SO COOL, RIGHT?

Yes… except that during Passover this court became a zoo for Jews only. 
A market for selling sacrificial animals. 
Gentiles could come back and pray some other time. 

Imagine Jesus going into the Temple year after year, seeing outsiders being pushed aside so that Jews could sell overpriced pigeons to fellow Jews. 

This year, Jesus decided to do something. 
Calculated. Premeditated. Coordinated.

This was the year He’d cause a scene, shoo the gaggle of merchants out the door, and let a flood of poor, sick, and needy outsiders into the court so that they could get as close to His Father as possible. 

And this was the week He’d blow up the whole paradigm and render the whole sacrificial system obsolete. His death would cause human hearts to become God’s temple. Jewish hearts. Non-Jewish hearts. Welcome to the holy of holies, friends. 

God’s angry when His people keep outsiders from drawing as close to Him as they can.

Now here’s an ironic question: 

Q: What keeps outsiders from drawing near to God?
A: A church full of angry people. 

How depressing - our Poor interpretation of a story about Jesus making space for outsiders to get near The Father… IS KEEPING PEOPLE FROM WANTING TO GET NEAR The Father!

-

Looking to the Cross

And, dear reader, remember that there’s never been a greater outrage than the cross.

His arrest was a sham.
His trial was a sham.
His crucifixion was a sham.

But at His arrest He told Peter to sheath his sword (Jn. 18:10-11).
And at His trial He stayed silent (Mt. 27:12-13).
And at His crucifixion He said, “Father forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing” (Lk. 23:34).

There is no outrage like the outrage of the Cross.
And the Crucified One didn’t mock back or fight back.

But when a sinner posts something sinful on your social media feed
Do you find yourself hoping God will send hellfire on them?
If so, it’s likely Jesus would turn and rebuke you
Like He did James and John in Luke 9:54-55.

And maybe you’re thinking:
”There are a lot of things I can imitate in Jesus, but surely His crucifixion isn’t one of them…”
Dear reader, a cross is precisely what we’re called to. (see Mt. 10:28, 16:24; Lk 14:27; Phil. 2:5-8).

Only His death can pay the price for sin.
But only our death can point the world to His death and resurrection (cr. Col 1:24).

Ever met someone who said, “I accepted Christ as Lord after one of Christ’s followers lost their temper with me.”?

… I didn’t think so.

-

Let me be clear: Emotions are Good.

There is nothing inherently wrong with anger.

God created emotions.
God Himself has emotions (If you don’t feel emotions, see a doctor).
God get’s angry.
… And God’s anger always produces righteousness…
… but ours never does.

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” - James 1:20

It’s good to be angry at injustice.
But it’s a poor decision to let anger take the wheel and start driving your behavior.

I’ve heard a lot of friends say, “don’t trust your emotions.”
Well said…
But I would add, “don’t trust your mind either.”

Sure, Jeremiah said “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer. 17:9).

But Isaiah said “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

A lot of intelligent minds have made the worst types of decisions.
Intelligent minds have met together to lay out plans for mass genocide.
More than once.

So don’t trust your emotions outright.
And don’t trust your mind outright.
But weigh everything you think or feel by what Scripture says is true.

-

And speaking of Scripture… 

If this table-flipping story makes you imagine Jesus angrily whipping non-believers, then re-read it… carefully.

And if this story causes you to justify your angry outbursts towards outsiders, then re-read it… repentantly.

And if this story causes you to marvel at the goodness of Jesus who zealously clears out space for outsiders like you and I to get close to the Father, then re-read it… exuberantly… again and again and again.

-

I’m Sorry.

Friend, if you’re a non-Christian and I’ve ever lashed out towards you in anger, I am SO sorry. That’s not the way of Jesus.

And friend, if you’re a Christian and I’ve ever treated you with fleshly anger, I am SO sorry. I’ve got no excuses. 

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” - James 1:20

“When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things.” - 1 Corinthians 4:12-13

“And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil.” - 2 Timothy 2:24

“Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” - Matthew 5:38-39

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” - Galatians 6:1

“Speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” - Titus 3:2

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” - Colossians 4:6

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” - Ephesians 4:31-32

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” - Romans 12:17-18

“Everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.” - Matthew 5:22

“If when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” - 1 Peter 2:20-23

“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth… Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” - Colossians 3:8, 12-14

TransChristianity

Sexuality. I have probably thought about it more in the last few months than I ever have before. And of course, conservatives have tended to get prolifically inhumane when they start to talk about it. We tend to forget that LGBTQ is not merely a problem to be dealt with, but people to be loved – just like everyone else.

So I'm sitting here on a flight back to Seattle from Charlotte, thinking of the "righteous" indignation that Christians generally feel over Homosexuality and Transgenderism. And while my disposition on this conversation is pretty settled, I think there's a giant and awkward Elephant in the Church, and it's worse than however you feel about Homosexuality or Transgenderism. Way worse.

The issue should probably just be called "Trans-Christianity."

A Transchristian is a person that changed their religious outfit at some point, started self-identifiying as a Christian, and now expects you to identify them as a Christian too. But when you take off their church clothes, something tangible is missing.

Christians from Portlandia to Trumplandia have gotten their holy robes in an anxious twist over Transgenders identifying with a gender that opposes their biological sex. But I'm just wondering when the dam of hypocrisy will break on Transchristians who identify with a Savior who opposes their own priorities and lifestyle choices.

Jesus Christ did not defend gun-rights, hold up signs of any kind, ride in a nice car, plan for retirement or believe in the American Dream… not even a little. He came to serve rather than be served, to die, and to radically call His followers to die too. Jesus was poor-and-nearly-homeless, a carpenter who defended outcasts and was tortured to death.

The Transchristian wants as much of the world as they can get, but just enough of Jesus to keep their pastor happy and their conscience sedated. There is no death to the world and yet they proclaim “Death to the World!” And where there is no real death to the world, there can be no real life in Christ.

Being a "Christian" has perhaps never meant less than it does today. It's a day in which "Christians" are Christians simply because they say they are. And we're all afraid to speak up – scared someone's feelings might get hurt – so we pretend along, believing beyond belief that our friends are really followers. 

We’ve got so much to repent of as a community of Transchristians. Myself included. There’s weeping that needs to be done over our own sins. Apologies that ought to be made to entire communities of people that we have objectified as though they were problems to be fixed. And there is a steeple-sized plank in the eye of the Transchristian church that must come out before we can help heal the world.

TESTIMONY WARS: May The Worst Sinner Win

Carl met Jesus in prison. Sarah collided with Christ at a séance. Samir’s parents were missionaries. Brie’s folks were druggies. John was a dealer. Mary had been abused. And Ron was divorced. Twice.

But I think I was born somewhere between a pulpit and a baptismal. The doctors must have sung a chorus of from a hymnbook, slapped a “hello my name is” sticker on my chest and stained-glass lenses on my face, then sent me to church with a prescription for “Fellowship.”

Suffice it to say, I don’t get asked to share my testimony in Sunday School or at Men’s Breakfasts. But you bet your tut-tutting-tookus that innumerable church-folk have reminded me that my story is “SPECIAL.”

I think I just threw up a little.

Ugh. It makes one want to mug a granny. Or walk into a gas-station with a bag over one’s hand. All just to make one feel like one’s testimony is just a little more “Carnal” and a little less “Special” - A.K.A “Generic.” One is tired of the Testimony Wars.

 

... Let me give you a key to rank YOUR testimony. Ready? Okay.
 

COMMONER – Jesus loves your story and sometimes that makes you feel nice. But at the end of the day you know that your story is just like 99% of everyone else’s. Bah. Whatevs.

AIN'T NO SAINT – Your story is still in process. You’re just trying to make it to tomorrow without committing one of the Seven-Deadly-Sins. People are rooting for you and most weeks that’s enough, but from time-to-time it’s just not. Ummm… little grace, please?

A LITTLE-LESS-COMMONER – You’ve got a relatively uneventful story, but you’ve done a thing or two for Jesus, acquired a degree in ministry, and/ or married a nice Christian man/ woman. Equally yoked and equally stoked for Jesus.

CHURCH HEART-THROB – Your story isn’t that exciting but people think it must be because you didn’t grow up watching Veggie Tales or going to bed while it was still light out. You play in the worship team or you’re a Christian with style. Your Instagram is polished. #fleek.

RADICAL – This is directly related to the cumulative number of visible tattoos you have and the number of ministries you’re now a part of leading. Four or more? Welcome to the club.

SOJOURNER – You had no reason to do what you did. Mom and Dad loved you and loved Jesus. No matter, you ran hard for a while but now Jesus has got you gripped and church isn’t that bad either.

TRAILBLAZER – You’re a first generation Christian and you’ve got that first-gen passion. You talk about Jesus like He’s real because, after all, He is. Next stop, all-you-can-eat Bible study.

HIGH CLERIC – Your story is saturated with intellectualism. Ex-Athiest? Ex-Agnostic? Ex-Anything-Else? Now you’re reasoning your way through big theology books and making up for lost time.

CONQUEROR – Your story centers around a deep traumatic event or serious disability. You wish it didn’t, but you have moved past the trauma and have found a profound way to bless others. The fact is that your story isn’t your story without the pain and people know you by it.

SUPER-SAINT – You are the renowned pendulum that swung from a drunken stupor in a dark alleyway and straight into a mega-ministry. Your story displays traits from one or more of the higher-level testimony grades. Rehab to Redeemed, baby! You got dunked in that Holy Ghost Fire and if you don’t want to write your story, someone else will.

But whether your story packs power or lacks power in human terms is irrelevant. Your story is as unique as your fingerprint, rife with a do-or-die kind of peril, and full of the faithfulness of a God that just won’t quit. God has given you a story to share. A story that can bring dead places to life whether or not you think it can. But – IT’S NOT YOUR STORY.

This is Christ’s story… THE Story.

He’s gathering lost kids from all corners of the earth and they’re coming from out of the woodwork. From street corners and seminaries. From drug houses and “christian” homes. From a place of pain into a place of peace. From a place of loss into a place of light. From a place of self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-reliance, self-admiration, and into a place of self-abasement where it’s all about Jesus.  

Sometimes you go to a far off country and Christ brings you back home. And sometimes you’re born wearing stained-glass lenses. But our boast is Christ. He’s not joining our story; we’re joining HIS story. And we don’t need to tell Him how to write this thing. He’s got it.

“I will not boast in anything. No wealth, no power, no wisdom, [no testimony]. But I will boast in Jesus Christ. His death and resurrection.”