The Problem of Passion

I am a real feeler. Like, neck-veins-bulging, sweat-dripping, write-hard, play-hard, cry-hard feeler... At my best I am ravenous for God, and at my darkest I am a couch-potato with an attitude and a netflix account. 

Maybe you are too. 

Some days all I want is to be with Jesus; my soul is so delighted in and fascinated with Him that  I would rather read the book of NUMBERS than go to work. I would rather rock-out with my Bible-out than see friends, eat food, or have sex. In those moments my soul is so easily enraptured by even the tiniest tendril of The Gospel. Waiting on the Still-Small-Voice. Sitting in swirling thoughts of God's character. Trotting my way through the "cloud of unknowing" and into broad places where I find God behind every bush and within every gust of wind; not that I am an Avatar-Mongering-Polytheist, but more-so that each arbitrary encounter with the world is jam-packed with potential for becoming a divine interaction with the Divine Genius. Sure as shooting. Certain as death and taxes. 

And it's on days like those, when I am breathing fire and feel the warmth of God's breath on my skin, that I tend to forget that not every day is pie-in-the-sky with Jesus. In fact, when I'm not feelin' it, I often experience a very abrupt metamorphosis... like someone hits the Holy-Ghost-Brakes and I go from "pew-potato" to "couch-potato" in about 3 seconds.

Because, when passion is your greatest strength, chances are it's also the debilitating chink in your armor... Because, "Feelings are a fantastic blessing, but a terrible master..." @AlanFrow

When passion is your spiritual power-play, going Slow, Small, and Steady with Jesus tastes like medicine. 

But perhaps, in your zeal, you've done a thing or two for Jesus. You've led a study, a trip, or an entire ministry. You've prayed through the night and blown the shofar from the top of Mount Carmel.  Perhaps you've pumped out an entire book... and you should, because He is worthy of your all. But I know myself. And I know that my "spiritual-accomplishments" tend to carry me for a little while... And if I'm lucky, I can ride that high for a week or two. Until one day, when I am living in early-spiritual retirement because of all the "heaven-pennies" earned by last week's zealousness for God... and that's when it happens - the Slow, the Small, and the Steady catch up with me…  the relics of passion and zeal are still somewhere inside of me, but, like a ball-player reveling in the glory days, I am unfit and unmotivated to play today’s game. 

That's when you start puking garbage like "Do as I say and not as I do." We ride the high, like Jehu - a King who turned Baal's temple into a toilet stall (2 Kings 10:27), was praised by the people, and retired early. The last thing written about the young idol-crusher was that he died an old man who failed to finish well (2 Kings 10:31). A little anti-climactic, right?

I think when you are filled with zeal for the Lord, as I am from season-to-season… we tend to believe that our zeal and our accomplishments are good substitutes for the Slow, the Small, and the Steady. That a sprint can be a substitute for a steady trudge.

As if Christianity were some spiritual game of "Red-Light, Green-Light"... 

instead of a Slow, Small, and Steady spiritual reality that we train our souls to actualize within the day-to-day fiber that comprises the fabric of our lives. As if we didn't think of God as though He were a real person... Because a healthy relationship with another person shouldn't look like a 14-year-old learning to drive a stick-shift, but perhaps more like the Slow, Small, and Steady walk of the veteran saint that just won't quit - so that even during the inevitable seasons in which I am not "feeling it," there isn't any desire or force of nature that can distract me from trudging closer to Jesus Christ. 

So what do we do? 

Life as a passionate person can be a little chaotic. So here are four things we can we do to bring a little balance to our walks with Jesus... Four really really hard things that will probably elicit the death of our egos and a tenacious resolution to follow hard after God.

1.) Don't get too inebriated with your accomplishments.

Chew on the Gospel until you can honestly sing: "I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power, no wisdom; But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection."
Do great things for Jesus - do them and do them with all your heart. But remember that your accomplishments are only a response to Christ's astronomical accomplishment of healing the world of sin with His blood. Have you ever died for someone? No? Then you've got no reason to get overly-confident in how well you sing, write, design, think, or love people. Do it for Jesus, and let that be enough. (Ephesians 2:8-9; Jeremiah 9:23; Proverbs 27:2; 2 Corinthians 11:30)

2.) Be Devout. 

I want to be known as someone who is "Devout." Devout to my wife, devout to the church, and devout to Christ. But being devout doesn't exactly come accompanied by desirable connotations these days. And in this "easy come, easy go" culture we've cultivated some serious commitment issues. But if you're like me and you've come to grips with the dark-side of your passionate personality then "Commitment" might be just what the doctor ordered. "Devout" is the big-cousin of the word "Devotion"... so break out that old daily devotional book that you've read 6% of. Jesus Calling, My Utmost For His Highest, or The One Year Bible. Break it out, break it in, and read it. Every day at the same time. Before work or during lunch-break. Habitualize, internalize, repeat... Every day? Ya. (Psalm 5:3; Psalm 119:148; Exodus 20:8; 2 Timothy 4:7; Mark 1:35)

3.) Get on your knees. 

I enjoy writing. But it can be tough to remember that I should wear out my knees praying before I wear out my fingers typing. Imagine if, like scripture mandates, we would invest ourselves in "ceaseless prayer..." In season and out of season. Imagine. Doing great things with great passion for God would be a natural overflow... the norm.

And on the same note, it is God that changes the heart. So if your desire is to be steadfast, then just ask Him persistently to accomplish that work in your heart. (Ezekiel 36:26; John 6:44).

4.) Be Resurgent 

When you screw it up. Get up and go again. When you've wasted a week or a month or an entire season in apathy, just get up and go in grace. Time spent groveling is time wasted. Get up, re-fix your gaze back on Jesus and walk with Him. (Hebrews 12:1-2; Joel 2:12-14)

The Slow, Small, and Steady happens in every moment. It loves early morning coffee and thrives in late-night conversation. It happens at summer-camp, and it happens in the dead of winter. It crawls through "The Dark Night Of The Soul" tooth-and-nail, with unrelenting effort. And it climbs, hand-over-fist, quick and seamlessly, over mountain-top experiences. It's a Slow, Small, and Steady walk with Christ that drags a Believer to the Throne-Room, never to leave. 

So come on, you passion-people. All you zealots. All you fire-eyed-kiddos. Come and move toward Christ. Patiently. Perpetually. Unrelentingly. Slow. Small. And Steady. Come to the throne-room of grace and never leave. 

"It's not about you, it's not about how you feel, it's about God." @PatMcCan

jesus > sex

Tomorrow I’m getting married. And, like a typical dude, I’ve got something on my mind: SEX. I’m not denying it. But perhaps, atypically, I am not as wrapped up into thoughts of having sex so much as I am completely bewildered with thoughts of why, as American Christians, we are so obsessed with sex, and why we are steeping teenagers in a sex-Gospel like ticking sex-time-bombs.

Maybe you and I heard the same sex-gospel growing up: “SEX IS AWESOME, FANTASTIC, MIND-BLOWING, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… BUT you can’t have it till you’re married...” Somewhere between the over-glorification of sex and the under-glorification of Christ we walked away thinking that married sex was better than knowing Jesus. And more than once I've whimpered to Him, Jesus, just don’t come back before I get to have sex, pretty please. The Sex-Gospel was the "good news" of guilt-free sex. And, comparatively, that's really just OKAY news... 

But the message I never heard was that knowing Jesus today is better than having sex. It’s better than sex with your girlfriend. It’s better than sex with a stranger. It’s even better than hot, steamy, monogamous sex with your spouse - And you don’t need to wait until you’re married to experience the deepest satisfaction that life can afford because you can experience the ocean of satisfaction that is closeness with Christ right-flipping-now! 

Not to degrade the fact that it is a life-long struggle to exclusively enthrone Christ at the center of our hearts, because it absolutely is; but the truth is that you and I can experience the most ravishing and uncompromising dimensions of “satisfaction” without ever having sex. Jesus said the way was narrow, not impossible. He promised "find" if we resolve to "seek." Our souls were not made for sex and sex alone they were made to find and experience closeness with God the Father.  The sex-side-dish is a measly morsel compared to our main course in Christ.

But if Jesus is not all satisfying then God forbid you ever live in anything smaller than a mansion. God forbid you ever experience hunger. God forbid you drive a beater. And God forbid you remain single for another minute. If Christ is not all satisfying then by all means, have lots of sex and have it now!

To say to a teenager that "sex in a monogamous marriage is the best thing ever" is to tie a proverbial carrot-on-a-stick to his back and have him run around, maddening himself with the lust that comes from staring at it. Until one day, when the carrot has become an idol, he rips off the stick and devours it. And that’s all. The carrot is not savored nor is he thankful for it, and instead he begins an often-vain search for something better than the carrot.

Neither has threatening people with AIDS or herpes resulting from loose orgies stopped anyone from having pre-marital sex; it will simply make them wear a condom. I’ve never met a virgin who on their wedding day said, “I only made it here because STDs scared me.” But give them something truly satisfying... give them Jesus... and the search for satisfaction rolls over and dies. 

To give this generation the gift of closeness with Christ is to give them a satisfaction that will never fail them, a satisfaction that lasts longer than a night of fooling around, a satisfaction that cries out to the deep of their heart and delights the senses of their soul with whispers of the Most High.

So I’m a virgin. And I haven’t missed out on anything. Because somewhere in the last twenty-four years my soul began relishing itself deeply in the deep of God’s heart. Tasting and seeing that He is good. And while it threatens and beats it’s chest, neither sex inside or outside of marriage can compete with the satisfaction I have found in Christ.

From the guy whose successor experienced every fleeting pleasure end-to-end and came back empty :

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is FULLNESS OF JOY; at your right hand are PLEASURES FOREVERMORE.
- Psalm 16:11

stalking god.

a response to: sexy “christianity”

A few weeks ago the corpse of sexy “christianity” was exhumed from its digital grave. What was little more than a dormant diary-entry reawakened and some of my most profuse heart-leakage started seeping into the cracks of facebook. And while its meanderings seem to have struck a nerve, I have a dirty secret to admit:
 

I am book-reading-and-blogging boy.

I wrote sexy “christianity” plaid-clad with a side of skinny jeans and coffee in a local java shop. My tactless and messy pen strokes were an attempt at confessing my own martyr-complex, pharisaic tendencies, and shallow faith with resolve to move back to the epicenter of a simple overflowing love for my Murdered Savior.

It takes one to know one in a culture where one of the most ostentatious and perhaps trendy things a Christian can do is write a blog about spirituality. Often we share our messiness with the world hoping to feel a little less messy. But really, we end up smearing our mess into a mess that’s more nice-looking but no less messy. The blogosphere is an inch deep and a mile wide.

But then, life’s not about a blog… or a style… The depth of your deep-V is not a measuring unit for the depth of your spirituality. Torn up shoes can’t prove how far you’ve walked with Jesus. And a longer beard doesn’t particularly make you more Christ-like (sorry, white-Russian-bearded-baby-faced Jesus!).

You can look like you know God… you can know all about God… but that has no bearing on whether or not you actually know Him. 

When you know all about someone but don’t actually know them, that just makes you a stalker.

GOD DOESN'T NEED STALKERS, HE WANTS FOLLOWERS... 

Temptation lurks in the murky and shallow waters of trending Christianity. It would demand every Christian forget Christ but continue looking as if they knew Him. This is what the temptation of early trending Christian culture demanded of Ananias and Sapphira. When selling land for the Jesus’ sake became the trend, the couple sought to be trendy. They sold their land with hearts bent on looking the part and hoping to receive Peter’s praise. That heart condition cost them absolutely everything.
 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven… I will declare to them, ‘Depart from me, I never knew you...’” (Matthew 7:21-23)

Whether you truly know God is between you and Him, but my resolve is to peel back the spiritual-looking behavior (regardless of whether it’s dressed in suits, sackcloth, or skinny jeans) and take a look behind the curtain, into the mechanism of my faith. My intention is not to take any one flavor of Christianity to the woodshed… My intention is to make war. To raid whitewashed tombs by releasing clarion calls to the Church – that each one of us would check our own hearts with a sense of ruthlessness towards any corrupted motives we may find there. Join me, I dare you to.

For Ananias and his wife there was this pervasive thing called “self” that weaseled its slimy little way into something beautiful and made it sickening to the heart of God. God will be the judge of acts that are truly righteous and acts that just look righteous. Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7)… That said, the Consuming Fire that is our God has an incredibly direct way of burning through the dross of our showy spirituality and dragging our true intentions kicking and screaming to the surface.
 

“If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Cor. 13:3)

“Quit your worship charades. I can’t stand your trivial religious games:
 Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings - meetings, meetings, meetings - I can’t stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You’ve worn me out! I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer performance, I’ll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I’ll not be listening...” (Isaiah 1:13-15 MSG)

 

...HE DOESN’T WANT A SHOW. HE WANTS OUR HEARTS. 

Want to be a radical Christian? Don’t look to trending Christian culture as a manual. You can’t pin radical Christianity like your favorite recipe or DIY. Look to Jesus Christ – the Author and Perfecter of your faith (Heb. 12:2).

Only the revelation of the glory of the Risen King Jesus will do if being consumed with passion is the end we seek. Only un-tinted, soul-altering, paradigm-shifting, idol-breaking, slit-side and nail-pierced-hands-feeling experience with Jesus will do. And to the one who has truly placed his hands in Christ’s side, and to the one who has truly put his fingers in the holes of Christ’s hands belongs a revelation that will not fail Him… yet it will destroy him, stripping him of all he owns. For that one, the one to whom Christ has revealed Himself, the only response that person will manage to muster is “here am I, send me!” For the one who has met Jesus face-to-face, worldly pleasures will be forsaken at the drop of a hat for the pleasure of Christ’s presence.

You can have works and not know God… But when you DO know Him – what a seriously blessed thought – works will inevitably, naturally, organically, flood out of you. A friend of mine recently put it this way: “When it comes to following Christ, good things are good only in so much as they are oriented by what is best, that is, a love for God.”

Hearts that are consumed by an encounter with the Risen Jesus Christ are hearts that will inevitably find their mission irreversibly intertwined with that of God’s. What breaks Him will break you. He breaks for bare feet and dirty water. He breaks for Africa and Skid Row. He breaks for impoverished coffee farmers and sweatshop laborers.

So in the midst of our social-justice-driven generation let the church bells resound with the thud of the question: “where’s your heart?” Wear your TOMS, drink your coffee fair-trade, and blog on your MacBook pro… but wear, drink, and blog because you’ve had an undeniable encounter with the grace of King Jesus. Not because you want people to think you did. Or because you want to think you did.

Take all that you are and offer it to all that He is. Steadily, faithfully, lavishly. With dogged resolve in valleys and green pastures. The life of radical abandon is one that has walked so steadily so long with Jesus that on a dime it would do anything Jesus asks. To ask the veteran Jesus follower to sell, give, or lose all is to ask little, for He has the supreme treasure of Christ. If he loses anything he has lost nothing.

God doesn’t want cookie-cutter lovers with no heart and soul. He wants you. Every piece of you - every flaw. So run to him. Take your cultural relevance with you, because you’ll need it… God will you use in any condition. All you have to do is run. – Jayson Schmidt